SEX ON THURSDAY | A Hard Pill to Swallow

A Hard Pillow to Swallow

I’ve been on the pill for four years and I can’t seem to break away from it. I trudge to Cornell Health once a month, dutifully retrieve my package of little blue tablets and force one down every night before bed. As much as I have thought about saying goodbye for good, I’m stuck in a (literal) cycle. 

When I first went on the pill, I was a senior in high school. I wanted to have sex, safely, and the pill seemed like the easiest, most popular option. I worried about the laundry list of side effects that came with the pills, but managed to get through relatively unscathed; I can recall only one morning of nausea a few days in. During those first months, I was obsessive about taking my pill. If I took it half an hour late, I fretted for days about being pregnant. My high school boyfriend, bless his heart, put up with these vaguely irrational worries like a pro.