SEX ON THURSDAY | Suck It Up: Valentine’s Day

Alright freaks, it’s been a minute but I am officially c*mming back (and better than ever) for another semester of Annie Position’s bi-weekly hot (and spicy) Sex on Thursday. And what better way to revive a legacy than with the holiday that is simultaneously the sexiest and most celibate day of the year: Saint Valentine’s Day.

Since its commercialization, Valentine’s Day has become inherently multi-faceted. For the happily taken, it is a day of love and intimacy; For the unhappily taken, a day of high expectations and subsequent disappointment. For the recently heartbroken, a minefield of emotional distress and for situationships, a manifestation of complicatedness. Regardless of any single attitude toward Valentine’s Day, my 20s have taught me that there appear to be far more people who despise and dread the holiday than those who look forward to it. I am not here to provide a hot take on why everyone should love the Day of Love, but I do want to talk about healthy spite, putting out what you wish to attract and attitude adjustment.

First of all, the origins of Saint Valentine’s Day are not all pink hearts and passionate sex.  Classics majors, please correct me if I am wrong, but for a while the Ancient Romans actually designated Feb. 13-15 as a festival which celebrated literally beating the f*ck out of women with the hides of freshly slain animals — they thought it would improve fertility. While some might still be into that today, that practice is definitely not the way the holiday is currently commercialized. So keep in mind, at its roots, this day is weird.